We sometimes look at forgiveness as being weak. Why should you forgive someone that hurt you, upset, shamed, or betrayed you? Especially when they don’t deserve it. But it’s not about them, what they’ve done, or taking the blame away.

Forgiveness is about releasing the toxic energy that keeps you in a repetitive cycle of self-harm. That keeps you stuck in time, reliving the painful memories.

It’s an attribute of resilience, because it requires an intentional release of the emotional stress of the past, no longer being the victim, no longer having grudges and holding onto negative emotions, and instead allowing you to live freely.

Moving away from what was to what can be.

We all need forgiveness from time to time. Equally, we all need to forgive.

If we were to hold on to all of our negative emotions from past events, our lives would be a constant misery.

We can choose forgiveness over resentment. And to turn these life experiences into a powerful teaching from which we can learn from and help others understand.

Initially, I found the concept of forgiveness challenging. That was until I had the “aha” moment when I was listening to a speaker put forgiveness into context. Until that moment, I thought I’d be doing them a favour by letting them off and saying it’s ok, you’re forgiven. But it’s not like that. I now know that it’s about allowing myself the opportunity to release the negative emotions associated with it. It’s something we are all empowered to do. Intuitively, we know it, but sometimes reviewing what we know is empowering.

While we can’t control what others do, we can choose our response.

Bitterness destroys lives. Forgiveness allows you to rebuild your life and heal.


Simple Steps you can take to Practice Forgiveness

Here are some simple steps you can take in learning to forgive:

  • Journalling your thoughts and emotions. The action of writing out these emotions is a process of release.

  • Think of someone you know that has forgiven you for something you may have done. How did that affect your relationship positively and emotionally?

  • Begin your day with gratitude and thanks. Then practice a daily thought of forgiveness. This can include forgiving yourself; forgiving a family member; or forgiving a colleague for something they’ve said or done that has upset you. Beginning with a heart of gratitude makes the process of forgiveness more rewarding. It could be something little. Begin where your heart and mind take you.

  • End the day with a positive thought and emotion. Affirm your ability to forgive and allow others to forgive you.


Authors & Blog Contributors

Aleisha is the Wellness Writers Workshop facilitator, and a contributor to our Wainui Wellness Blog. Her key takeaway point from this article is to remain humble and remember  …

We all need forgiveness from time to time. Equally, we all need to forgive.

Radical Hope Workshops

Wainui Wellness offer Radical Hope Workshops and Coaching throughout the year in person and online. Of the 10 key factors researched, releasing suppressed emotions is a fundamental part of your healing journey. Our Certified Radical Remission Health Coach is here to guide you on your healing journey. To learn more about coaching and workshops, click here.


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Tony Wainui Wellness Health Coach & Workshop Instructor

Hey, I´m Tony

Thanks for  calling by. Articles we share in this Blog are backed by sound research, and are intended to inspire hope and give you courage. Before becoming a certified Health Coach I worked in our family practice seeing over 50,000 patients over 20 plus years. Today, I’m here to help you navigate through your healing journey by offering group coaching and workshops to help you adapt, grow, and thrive together.